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Featured Articles

26 Insecurity Signals And The Simple Behavior Changes To Fix Them

“I’m sure it will work out perfectly,” I said.
“No you aren’t,” she instantly shot back.

I’m discussing some potential hiccups in our upcoming travel plans with my wife. I made a mistake with our booking, and I’m trying to reassure her it’s no big deal. She’s not buying it.

“What, how can you say that? You don’t believe me?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“You’re pulling on your collar.”

I was pulling on my collar. What does that have to do with this exchange? If you don’t know me well, it’s a good question. But if you do, you’re already laughing and saying to yourself, “Ah, yes. She caught you, you liar.”

My collar, more specifically me touching it, is my tell—a behavioral clue that I was trying to hide something. [1] My wife knows my tell better than anyone. She can spot even the smallest display of it the way a master poker player can instantly tell if you have a great hand or not.

I wasn’t lying. I did think everything was going to be okay. But I wasn’t certain of it. More like… 80%. That minor difference caused me some nervousness, and I was displaying it clearly by rubbing my shirt collar.

We all have a tell. In fact, we have lots of them and we put them on display every day.

When you think about this, your mind probably goes directly to lying. But that’s just one example. There are lots of times our tells come out when we’re not lying. In fact, you might be telling the absolute truth, but find that people don’t believe you. Why? Because your tells are a giveaway that you’re uncomfortable. When this happens, you undermine your own words.

If you’ve ever encountered a situation where you felt weak, nervous, or uncomfortable but wanted to appear strong and confident, learning to manage the signals you put out is critical part of the equation.

Here’s your cheat sheet for looking on point and in control when you’re feeling exactly the opposite on the inside. Continue Reading →

Here’s What Really Causes Social Anxiety (And What To Do About It)

You’re hardly alone if you’d describe yourself as “socially anxious.” Almost 5% of people suffer from some form of it. That doesn’t seem like a big number but, when you consider the whole world, that’s 350 million people.

You go to a party and freeze because everyone is looking at you. In meetings, you hope no one asks a question because you’re certain whatever you say will be wrong. Maybe you avoid close relationships because you can’t stand the idea of sharing personal details with someone else. What will they think when they find out you aren’t perfect?

If that describes you, chances are you’ve known it for a long time. Most people realize they’re socially anxious in their early teens.

And if you’ve ever talked to a doctor about it, you’ve probably gotten the same advice: you need more serotonin. Maybe you’ve even been prescribed a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). Serotonin is a complex chemical, but the treatment is simple: more serotonin fixes all kinds of psychological problems, so why not anxiety, too?

Recent research from Uppsala University in Sweden, though, uncovered exactly the opposite. If you’re struggling with social anxiety, they found, you may actually have too much serotonin flowing through your brain.

This is a potentially huge revelation if you struggle with social anxiety. Here’s what the researchers found, and the things you can do now to act on those findings and reduce your social anxiety. Continue Reading →

Worldwide Waffles: A World Record Recap

Last Friday, I did what I do every summer here in Portland: hang out with hundreds of people from around the world to set some sort of crazy world record as the opening to the World Domination Summit, an event I help organize.

This year, after wearing ourselves out the previous years, we asked ourselves, “What’s the laziest record we could set?” It took some hard thought, but we landed on, “biggest breakfast in bed party.” What could be lazier than that?

As expected, it turned out to be a lot more work than we originally planned, but the results were worth it. We broke the record (currently held in China) with 600 people in Pioneer Courthouse Square all eating breakfast together.

These kinds of events are better explained with pictures and videos than words, so check out the recap video. Continue Reading →

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